I've been attending Central Baptist Church for a couple of months now, and I have known for a while that that was my church home. I had planned to wait and officially join when mom was feeling stronger and ready to get out and about. Well, the best laid plans...
Today there was no way I could *not* join. I knew today was the day. And all throughout the sermon, I kept trying to find reasons not to walk to the front and join -- after all, I was going to wait for mom to be there so we could stand as a family together.
God had other plans.
I have had such a strong yearning for the feeling of being directly in God's presence as I had had at BSF in Fort Worth. It's been so strong and nearly overwhelming at times.
I felt it today...several times...in Sunday school and during the service. It was so amazing and wonderful and what I have yearned for for so long. I was moved to tears several times this morning and evening at church.
When the invitation was called, I stood firm. It wasn't today...no, Lord, please. Mom's not here with me.
When God calls, though, woe be unto him who doesn't heed the call. And I knew today was the day.
So I'm now a member of Central Baptist Church of Jacksonville. I haven't been an active member of a church for 21 years...Grace Baptist, which is now gone.
It is so amazing and comforting and just RIGHT to be a part of God's family like this again. I spent so much time wandering and alone in my walk with the Lord.
And of course there was so much time during which I was not at all doing what I knew I should...when I was blatantly going AGAINST what I knew was the way I should go.
But despite it all, the Lord still accepts me with open arms. As my heavenly Father, he doesn't care that I was a screw up and did wrong. He cares only that I am repentant for those things, have turned from them and back to Him.
Lord, I praise You and thank You for Your love for me.
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